Parenting Behavior Which Can be Toxic For Kids
By RACHNA MURALIDHAR
Parents need to be aware and conscious of their behavior which can be toxic and impact their kids.
Toxic Behaviors of Parents:
* Critical treatment: When a parent constantly criticizes, over-corrects, and tries to mold their child based on excessive expectations, the impact can be detrimental to the child’s well-being. Self-doubt, lack of self-confidence and inability to draw boundaries are common tendencies in such children. The child feels inadequate since they could not match up to their parents’ relentless demands.
* Uncontrolled emotions: Parents that are unable to self-regulate, for e.g., quick to show anger or prone to deep sadness, are unconsciously teaching the child about acceptable forms of behavior. Extreme emotions are normalized in the child’s mind which may cause them to adopt uncontrolled forms of behavior, making it difficult for them to adapt to society.
* Oversharing: In a classic case of role reversal, the child is forced to adopt the role of the parent at an early age due to oversharing of emotions and responsibilities by parents. These situations push them to become problem solvers, negotiators, and caregivers. Due to the people-pleasing attitude and suppression of their own needs, they often find themselves in abusive situations as adults.
* Constant comparison: In Indian society, ‘SharmajiKa Beta’ is a common phenomenon. All of us have come across instances where parents relentlessly compare their child to someone else. It can be a sibling, cousin, neighbor, or classmate. Self-doubt and dissatisfaction are common in such children, as they are never made to feel worthy.
* Breach of trust: When parents cross boundaries and spy on their children, major trust issues are created. Checking a child’s mobile phone, reading their diaries, and revealing secrets are instances of a serious breach of trust. These children either grow up to be rebellious or may be prone to bullying even later in life.